I guess if I were facing this, I would try tapping something like this;

Even though I'm resisting letting go of John (use his name), I deeply and completely love, forgive and accept myself. Even though I have a lot of energy caught in in John's memory, I deeply and completely love, forgive and accept myself. Even though John's memory continues to haunt me at a very deep level, I completely love, forgive and accept myself.

I would then continue this theme around the tapping points. Pay special attention to any memories or emotions that surface during this time, even if they seem unrelated.  I would continue tapping on the "resistance" theme until a breakthrough occurred.

This particular person, and his untimely death, may be affecting you on more than one level, and perhaps tied to more than one core belief.  You may need to play detective to discover everything that's going on here.

Just a thought -- do you by any chance feel guilty when you try to eradicate the energies around John?  Does it feel like you are betraying him in any way?  I might try tapping about guilt. That could be part of the resistance.

Good luck and do keep us informed about your progress.

Having suffered the devastating loss of a very important person last year I can completely sympathize with you and your loss.  I tapped like mad on all aspects of this loss... and while I obtained relief from the worst of the grief and guilt so that I could at least get through my days without suffering too badly, the slightest thing could set me off into tears or hours of struggle with vivid memories relating to my friend.  It wasn't until the year anniversary of his death came about that I was finally able to make real progress.  In tapping I found that I was afraid if I "got over" my grief it would be like really letting him go and that that would mean I didn't love him anymore or that my love for him had been a sham or not really deep, etc.  Worst of all was the guilt- I should have done more, I could have been more supportive, if I hadn't blah, blah, blah... the guilt is still hard to deal with but as I deal with it and with other guilt issues that come up while tapping on it I'm making progress with that, too. 

You might consider not tapping to eradicate or eliminate your grief, guilt and other emotions around your friend but more as a way to really connect with these very important and deep emotions.  Your friend is gone- these emotions are what you have left of him, and the good memories which are being obscured by the sadder ones.  As you accept and embrace the sad emotions and process them the good feelings will be able to come forward more easily, especially if you can tap on the good parts, too.  At least, that's been my experience so far.  Certainly your own experience may be different! 

Your friend obviously saw something worth paying attention to in you.  I think that's worth tapping on, too, if nothing else to remind your self that you merited a good person's love and support and that he would still be helping you out now if he was still around. 

My deepest sympathies for your loss. 

Namaste.

Thank you all for your support and help!

Yes it's exactly what I fear if I attempt to release the negative emotions and thoughts around his death. Logics says nothing but to release, and that by this I won't forget but forgive (myself) towards him.

There's also this particular friend who has been able to isolate a few thought and emotions that lay heavy on this.
In particular these are:

Fear of dissappoint myself after everything he taught me
Fear of dissappointing him in the same context.
Still missing him in being there for others, steady as a rock
And accusing myself for hiding when he got sick -- Someone like him getting sick was unimaginable

While tapping on my fear to dissapoint, I feel like being on the edge of bursting into tears... I had never felt anything like that, while using EFT, before.
So I'll have a go at tapping on that specificly, thanks

It feels good hearing you say this. And yes, this was part of the reason why we met. However, he always saw something in me and as I lost him I feel like I lost track of whatever he saw...

Another strange thing, but made perfect sense on the spot, was when he gave his "going away party". Imagine the strength one has to make such a gesture where he wanted see, as many friends as possible, for the last time...
I didn't cry. The smile on his face only reassured me that he was okay with it, he accepted it. So somehow I found my peace with it too.

Wisdom say that the one I was, the one he helped me bring to the surface, is still out there... It just doesn't feel like that at all, maybe a part of guilt too.

If anything has become clear to me it's that knowledge is just one thing, putting it into action, the hardest part, is the other 

Wise words indeed, exactly how I thought about it. The thing is, I can't.
I feel the heavy sadness and my breathing changes and becomes a bit shaky but no tears.
More recently I feel more at ease when tapping on these things, somehow there was a load of sadness but the peace I experienced on the day I saw him for the last time seems to make up for it.

The consistent complaints I'm having where this came to surface are not quite gone yet but I'm feeling something is changing. I'm feeling slightly stronger in my presence, although I know it's just a small thing budging me into the right direction, I'm already feeling a big difference.

Im having thoughts about visiting his grave, I never did before. However, I haven't got a single clue where he's buried and I've been acting a stranger to his family and it just doesn't feel right to just show up on their doorstep...

Hello,

I am sorry for the loss of your friend.

I thought that comes to mind, is to talk to your friend. Here is one way that might work for you. Take 2 chairs and set it up for 2 people to talk to each other (so, people could talk to each other face to face). Sit in one of the chairs, and talk to the chair as though your friend was still alive. Speak out loud all of the things you have every wanted to tell him. Open your heart and speak your truth. Know that he is hearing all of your words. Then when you feel like you have emptied all of the words out, change chairs. Now, you are responding as though you are your friend. Allow yourself to be him. You can go back and forth again and again if needed.

This exercise while give you an opportunity to express everything you may have wanted to ever say to your friend, and to hear what he has to say to you.

Please let me know if this works for you.

You may or may not find it helpful to tap while you do this.

Gratefully yours,
JoAnn

Sorry to read about hte loss of your friend.  The Gestalt chair exercise mentioned ix a good and often very powerful one to use.  It can often seem as if someone leaves this life too early. And in physical year terms that may be the case. But it sounds to me as if your teacher had a special mission to impart wisdom to many people, via his profession, and thats exactly what he did.  When his mission was finished there was no further need for him to be on earth. Had he done so my feeling is that many of his pupils might have 'clung' onto him.  And what they (you included) needed to do was to put his wise words into practice in your own lives. So in effect, he let you all go..His role was simply to sow seeds in your young minds.  Sounds very deep I know but that's the feeling I'm getting...

Good luck....

Grief is a funny thing.  Sometimes it's hard for others to show support because of their own un-dealt with grief... but it seems like most people here are doing pretty well for themselves and able to help others!  Isn't that wonderful. 

I'm very glad you're finding your way through this difficult time.  I bet you'll be able to help others after this much more so than before.  Look out for the Universe sending you "homework," as my Shaman is wont to say! 

Namaste.