More often than not, we're benefitting from being consumed by fear.  Whether it's positive or negative, there is some kind of benefit that you're getting out of it.  If you WEREN'T getting anything out of a particular fear, you wouldn't do it.  Now, that's not to say that there's anything wrong with you.  You're a human being, and that's how our brains work.  Typically, the benefit is usually intended to protect you from more fear from past experiences.

In order to illustrate my point most effectively, I'll use examples.  Something that has been mentioned on this forum numerous times, which I can also relate to is the subject of "Social Anxiety."  Everybody keeps asking, "What do I tap on for social anxiety?" and we come up with answers.  What I'm suggesting is simply an additional and extremely effective way of looking at fear and eliciting more tail-enders, leading you to more core-issues.

DO NOT OVERLOOK THIS

From my experience when dealing with social anxiety, I asked myself what are the BENEFITS of having social anxiety?  I came up with:

- I don't have to handle the attention of groups of people
- I don't have to worry about looking stupid in front of others
- People won't know how uncool I am
- I won't be perceived as unknowledgable
- Nobody will bother me
- Nobody will get in my way
- I don't have to manage other people
- I can remain shy
- I can stay by myself
- I get to hang on to my current identity
- I don't have to develop social skills
- I don't have to learn how to vibe with people properly
- I won't have to give compliments
- I can feel lonely

"But Craig, those aren't benefits, those things were getting in your way!"

True.  However, since my subconscious mind perceived those things to be benefits, I kept those beliefs about myself.  As humans, we always pick situations and circumstances that are perceived as benefits to us, and keep in mind that those benefits are subjective.  You aren't going to make a business deal if you KNOW FOR A FACT that you are going to lose money, you'll walk away because you will lose.

The same goes for people who get sick or have a lot of pain.  Here's a couple of potential benefits of being in pain:

1) One might get sympathy from other people.  They mistake this sympathy for love from others.
2) Other people are more likely to help you out of pity.  Think about it, when you're out in public and a person in a wheelchair is coming through the aisle trying to get past, you'll go out of your way to make it easy for that person to get through.

Now, I'm not saying that there isn't pain that legitimately stops people from doing whatever they want.  I injured my ankle about 2 months ago during hockey and I've yet to return.  The difference is that the pain is a physical strain, not emotional.

Whatever the case, think about what your issues are and ask yourself what the benefits are, cause you may find some things about yourself that you didn't know.  This concept might even offend you at first, but you will find a lot of potential by exploring this idea.  I did.

Craig

Great post. I have some unique secondary benefits, but some of them are similar to what you posted. This is what I could come up with.


The BENEFITS of being negative, fearful and depressed:

-I'm in a state of reality, because smart experts say that things are terrible and will only get much worse, and positive ideas only come from feeble, ninny self-help techniques that never work.

-All the greatest achievers like Michelangelo, Van Gogh etc. had serious flaws, and if I fix my own flaws and become well-adjusted, I'll be a worthless, talentless nobody.

-It's easy and comfortable to think negative because it's become a habit. Thinking positive is uncomfortable, alienating and brings up glaring tail-enders.

-I won't have to be responsible for my future or big achievements.

-I won't have to get out and try new things.

-I deserve to be depressed because I've been a stupid idiot and I'm not good enough. Only when I become a better person will I deserve to feel good.

-No one will have to notice me and potentially criticize me.

-I can isolate myself from the world.

-I can have something to complain about.

wonderful posts
just to add my two cents-usually after I clear the secondary benefits to having fear,I then brainstorm all the good things I'll get after ridding myself of it and then all the disadvantages of continuing to keep it.it helps to solidify the changes.(being persistant tapper helps as well)